Stay single until falling in love means finding a partner, not a purpose.
Stay single until you have concrete goals, and plans, and dreams, and places you want to go. Find purpose within yourself, so that the person who one day becomes your significant other will always be a teammate and partner but never the sole reason that you have to exist.
Stay single until you know who you are outside of whoever you date.
Stay single until you understand yourself outside of the relationship you’re in – where you know what kind of person you are and what you like and what you want to spend your days doing, without needing a significant other to define those things for you.
Stay single until you love yourself enough so that another person’s love makes you joyful and happy and full, but not whole.
Stay single until your own self-love is enough for you. Stay single until you learn how to be proud of yourself when you accomplish something, and how to be gentle with yourself when you fail. Become someone who knows how to love their own company, so that you can still find joy and fullness with a significant other without ever depending on them for completeness and wholeness.
Stay single until you love yourself for the right reasons.
Stay single until you become someone who lives boldly.
Stay single until you’re someone who makes an effort to feel alive every day. Stay single until you are someone who makes yourself try things that scare you, and things that expand your world, and things that are outside of your comfort zone. Become the kind of person whose thirst and thrill and joy for life are constant companions among you, so that you never become complacent or idle or empty.
Stay single until you become someone like this. And once you do, take your time to enjoy it. Remember that you are not becoming this person for someone else, you are becoming this person for you. If a soulmate happens to come into the picture, great. They will only be bringing more joy, and laughter, and lightness into a life that is already complete, and filled, and whole.
Photo: @mfcorridan x @oljaryz
I’ve always wanted to be liked and loved by the people in my life, and I am, but I’ve also struggled with feelings of unworthiness or not being good enough.
Building an online persona has been a trippy experience. It gave me the chance to portray myself as a person that I thought everyone would like and love, even more than they liked and loved the real me.
As a person who has had many moments of wanting to be someone else, this ability to control how people saw me became intoxicating for a time.
Where I was weak, Gypset Goddess was strong. Where I was afraid, Gypset Goddess was fearless. Where I felt not good enough, Gypset Goddess always was.
It’s true, people do like and love Gypset Goddess, but the funny thing is that they never have ended up liking or loving her more than they do me.
When I would meet people who followed Gypset Goddess before they met me, their response 9 out of 10 times used to be this: you’re a lot cooler than I thought you would be.
For awhile this surprised me. How could they possibly like me better than Gypset Goddess (aka the better version of me)?
This kept happening until it dawned on me: Gypset Goddess was near perfect, and perfection is both unrelatable and boring. I thought that I needed to seem more “perfect” to be more likeable and loveable, but in fact, seeming more perfect made me less of both.
I decided to drop the facade and bring more of myself into my persona until they became one and the same. Instead of hiding my weaknesses and fears, I shared them.
A little bit of sharing turned into a lot, until I stopped hearing that I’m cooler than expected, and started hearing instead that I’m just as people imagined.
I created Gypset Goddess, because I thought that the real me wasn’t good enough or worth sharing, but the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is this: no persona that I could create is ever as cool, or as likeable, or as lovable, as I am already, just as I am.
The next time you’re thinking that you’re not enough, or wishing you could be someone else, remember this: you are already a likeable person, who is worthy of love, just as you are. Don’t change. 💗
PS my coat is faux fur 😊