I was peacefully dozing off when I was awakened by a posse of really cute raccoons that must have mistaken me for a log. I also got to see sloths and I learned that they climb down from the trees once a week to take a 15 pound shit had have to dislocate their own pelvises to get it out.
It's hard for me to admit this, but I haven't left the four walls of CO for a legit vacation in 9 years. Yeah, 9. It's not that I don't like to travel or anything, have kids or even a dog keeping me at home. I've always been worried about spending the money and I'm simply a creature of habit. Tomorrow that will change. I'm off to beautiful Costa Rica on my very first yoga retreat(not leading). The retreat is appropriately titled "re treat 'yo self". One of my teachers has always said to go for things like this and everything will work out. I'm trusting the universe and paying myself back for all the hard work I've put in over the years. I'm looking forward to connecting with a new group of people and discovering a new part of the world over the next week. .
The thing is, I was scared. See, it looks totally fine, until you get to the rope and look at how far it is down. It’s higher than it looks. And once the rope is in your hands, you have to just jump. I know for many of you, this may seem silly. But in this moment, I conquered more than just jumping into the water. If it’s scary, and fear is driving that, let go. Release. Once I had a firm grip and I was swinging, which felt amazing and a holy shit moment, time stood still. Meditation in some form set in. And the letting go of the rope into the water had more meaning than I can put into words but I’ll do my best. Once I let go, the ride down into the unknown, felt like forever. It was probably 3 seconds in reality. And then water, swoosh, depth, only to ride up and be displaced by the rush. And all I could do was look up, smile, and laugh hard. I’m in Costa Rica dammit. And I feel like a kid in unchartered waters, territory, and life. Today was day 1. This was one experience of so many good ones today. Do the uncomfortable. Ask the questions. Get out of your comfort zone. And live. #costarica#purevida#southamerica#adventure#getoutofyourway
Do you feel lonely? Like you are alone in this world and nobody cares about you?
I do. Sometimes I feel so incredibly alone in my thoughts… especially during times of change or stress. I feel like there is not one person on this planet who understands me, or even cares. I tell myself this. Nobody cares about me. I am not worthy of anything. And then I start to look outside of myself for comfort, or for some attention to help me feel loved and worthy again. Does anyone else ever go there?
On my journey I have been studying this place inside of me, and what I have discovered is that the thoughts that bring me down, that voice of the victim or the judge is NOT actually me. Those thoughts are not my own. They come from the world all around me, and I have only agreed to believe them. When I judge myself, or vicitimze myself, that is not me. It is simply a projection of societies beliefs. Thoughts are learned behaviors. My thoughts are a direct result of the universal conditions of culture, religion, gender, social media and politics in the society I have been born and raised in. My thoughts and not original. They are projections I have learned and agreed with. I just got so used to seeing the world this way, that I started to believe the world WAS this way. But it is not. It is whatever I choose it to be.
So if you are every feeling lonely, insecure, or unworthy, remember that those thoughts are not you. You have a choice to believe them or not. Don’t believe them. You also have the choice to change the dialogue. You are not alone. You are beautiful. You are worthy.
Now, when I am feeling lonely... I have the awareness to do something about it. I tell myself how absolutely fabulous I am, and smile, change my vibration and then let the unworthy feelings pass. We are all in this together. Let’s show compassion to the thoughts of old and then let them go. 📷 @bodiesbyphil613#mypureretreat
If you've ever been to Costa Rica then you know this phrase. Live your life pure vida full of happiness and excitement sharing it with the people around you so it spreads like wildfire! 🔥