Most people would say that your birthday is supposed me to be a celebration of your life surrounded by people you love. But this year I made the best decision when I decided to take a day trip... by myself. In LA.
As my day was ending, I decided to drive down the entirety of Mulholland Drive and visit the scenic overlook above all of the San Fernando Valley... And while I was there standing at the edge of a cliff, watching the twinkling lights and busy city below me in silence, with no one to disturb or confuse, I (while quite cliché-ly playing “Free Falling” by Tom Petty) realized a lot about myself:
I’m unsure about every decision I ever make. I don’t make sense sometimes. I’m spontaneous and impulsive. I buy things I don’t need. I have a hard time expressing myself. I don’t ask questions because I’m scared of the answer. I care more about the opinions of others than my opinions about myself. I hide my emotions. I’m sometimes cold. I’m scatterbrained. I need to be more brave with my life. I’m headstrong. I need to take chances, to do what’s best for me. But most of all:
IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE MYSELF OUT.
And that’s okay... Sometimes you lose yourself. You forget about all of the things that used to make you happy. But really, you haven’t forgotten. You’ve let what you surround yourself with change who you are to make everyone else happy. And finding your way back is a journey all your own. Sometimes that journey is simple.
Or maybe you’re crazy like me and fly 1,700 miles, only to drive 400 more to find yourself again in an unfamiliar city surrounded by unfamiliar faces.
But it was so worth it. 🖤
“Ukalalıkla o kadar meşgulsün ki düşünmüyorsun."
- Mulholland Drive (Mulholland Çıkmazı) / David Lynch (2001)
That’s the problem. People tend to think that other people, places, and things are just too good to be true. And so they close their eyes or they run. They don’t think they’re worthy, so it isn’t real. It’s a lie, a farce, crazy. They don’t give these people, places, and things a chance to prove that the best things in life usually do sound a bit nuts. But if they would just open their eyes, they would see that life, life is never too good to be true.
📷: No filter on a Los Angeles sunset. Skirball Fire smoke on the right. December 10, 2017.
Took some time this week whilst in LA to reflect on the craziness of life. With the amount of time I’ve been away this year it’s been difficult to figure out exactly where on the rollercoaster of life I am.
I know it’s a good point though - I’ve got the best friends, family and girlfriend that I could ever wish for. I meet inspiring people on a daily basis and can’t wait to meet even more. I’ve had opportunities that I didn’t know existed. My social circle has grown exponentially, as has my outlook. Huge thanks to everyone who has been involved so far, I’ve been blown away by your hospitality and generosity. Tomorrow I fly off on my final adventure of 2017. That will be flight no.39 and the return will be no.40. That’ll be enough until January and a very special trip indeed.