▪️Después de algún tiempo aprenderás la diferencia entre dar la mano y socorrer un alma, y aprenderás que amar no significa apoyarse, y que compañía no siempre significa seguridad.▪️ #blackandwhite#mexico#model#vscocam#loveme
I decided not to put a filter on this pic... Because I'm not afraid to show the real Brittany anymore... Somewhere along the line I lost myself big time.. and for a while I got way to comfortable... Because I didn't think it matter if I got dressed anymore.. it didn't matter if I went out... It didn't matter to do the bare necessities like dolling my self up to just go to the grocery store... Because I had a man.. and because I had kids... But one day I looked in the mirror and said who is this person??😟 I didn't even know who was looking back at me... It wasn't Brittany... It was someone who had given up on herself... Who got comfortable not living and just being boring!!!! Not caring about Brittany because she didn't matter anymore with all that she had on her plate... But I had to put a stop🚫 to all of that... Because I do want to live ... I do want to be happy... I wanna get back to Brittany... I realized that I need to love Brittany just like I love others.. even more... Brittany is beautiful 😍 Brittany is strong💪 Brittany is back!!! #loveme#knowyourworth#stayfocused#beautiful#beauty#proudplusqueen#workingonme 💪😍🙋🤗😘✌️🤳
Weird statement alert..... I have never eaten at a restaurant by myself.
And I'm 41 years old.
I don't know where the fear and anxiety comes from; I've just never been able to do it. I'll eat in my car or avoid a meal altogether if it means eating in public by myself.
This "event" had been on my goal list for three years and tonight, I crushed it.
The restaurant was empty at first which made it easier but I still I found myself fidgeting. A panicked feeling as I tried to decide what to order that wasn't messy or "lonely" looking. Halfway through my meal a group of ladies walked in and I stopped eating. After a few seconds of "how do I hide" I berrated myself and picked up my fork again. No one was watching me. No one CARED I was there by myself. No one pointed and muttered "who is that loser at the table by herself?". In fact, I'm pretty sure the only person who thought oddly about me was the waitress. Whenever she came over, I verbally clung to her like a flotation device in a hurricane!
But once I took stock of everyone who didn't give a shit about my eating alone, I felt...free. So much so, that I even lingered over dessert (and cheesecake makes everything better). I came back to my room and did a little happy dance and shed a couple of celebratory tears.
Weird goal, I know. Some may consider it a non-event. But to me, it's the start of 2018 being the year of accomplishment and tackling more of my goals. Yeah me! ❤️❤️ #esktransformationweekend#oddgoalsarestillgoals#firsttimeoutalone#immagonnadoitagain#loveme