I am not going to lie to you, I have been feeling very down and depressed these past few days.
I am mostly someone who loves to cheer people up and today I find myself in a position where it is hard to find positive things to reassure myself.
I decided to start posting on Instagram and on YouTube without thinking it would lead me somewhere and when things where starting to grow I chose to follow my dreams. I am working hard on them, spending 10 to 12h a day working on my art is not something everyone would do for free.
I myself hope I can live with what I create. After all I work hard enough for that, but today I am starting to ask myself if this is not just an utopia.
With the algorithms taking away everything creators hardly built.. It is not helping me to be so hopeful about my future and my decision to follow my dreams.
I can’t continue to live with my parents when I am going to turn 26 this year. I can’t stay in that blurry perspective so my mind is going a bit crazy these days.
I cry a lot, I get pissed at everything and in my mind it is 90% of worries most of the time.
Sometimes I just want to give up but the biggest part of me want to improve and prove to everyone that it is possible.
The future holds the answer of my decision but today I needed to be transparent and to open up to those that care and support me everyday.
Without you Crystal Souls I would probably not be here. It is for sure ... so for all the things you do; thank you.
Rather it is a like on a picture, a view on my video, a comment, a private message,... just thank you so being here with me🌹